Donald Raynor – True Friendship Comes to a Close
My life has had the blessing of a lifelong friendship with a man who just lost a courageous battle with a devastating illness. Don Raynor and I lived next door to one another while growing up in a Washington D.C suburb in the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s. I was an only child. With Don's passing, I'm suddenly keenly aware that Don and John Bish, who lived just a few doors away, have been the brothers I never had.
I marvel at the close, lifelong connections we've maintained through the years. Modern living too often dictates that we scatter from friends and family. So, it's become less common that close links with childhood friends will be sustained for so long. It's been no different with Don, John and myself. While Don remained in the D.C. area, John and I moved about. Our wanderings, however, never weakened the bonds forged so early in our lives.
As kids, naturally, we shared innumerable scrapes and memorable times. Early on, they were the glue that sealed the bonds, and have helped us to accept one another's ups and downs throughout our adult years. Yes, there have been divorces, career changes, moves and everything life in the twentieth and twenty first centuries seems to evoke. Don lost his son, Todd, who suddenly died at an early age.
In 2002, he began to have troubles with his health. At first it didn't seem overly serious, but in early 2003 he came down with ARDS (acute respiratory distress syndrome) which led to eleven months in the ICU at Georgetown University Hospital. Four and a half of those months were spent in an induced coma. At one point, while I was visiting, Don came close to death. ARDS is fatal in about half the cases.
Don's survival for another four plus years is an outgrowth of several things. First, was the uncompromising devotion of his wife, Sheila (yes, his third wife). Don was truly blessed to have Sheila. Her unwavering caring and support prolonged and gave much deeper meaning to his life over these last few years.
Beyond that, he had steadfast caring and concern from his large family (he had six children and an older brother). I know his connection with his family grew stronger and took on depth and breadth that might have been missed were it not for his struggles and their uniting behind him.
Throughout most of his ordeal, he received top notch medical care. But, that can only go so far. About three months ago, with his immune system so compromised, Don again contracted pneumonia. Another extended hospitalization brought him to the point where he could return home. But, after only a week, with his body still ravaged by all the trauma, he collapsed. Once it was certain he wouldn't recover, the family, honoring his wishes, had life support removed and brought him home where he passed on August 3, 2007.
Last Christmas, I fell on the ice and my pelvis was badly fractured in the hip socket. For several months, after release from the hospital, I was confined to a wheelchair and couldn't leave my house. Don called me every day. There's a friend!
What a gift it's been to have Don's friendship throughout his life! I thank him, and I thank God, from the bottom of my heart for enabling me to be a friend. I've learned so much from that.
I know that the sorrow I'm feeling is mirrored by Sheila and Don's entire family. As my grief eases over time, I'll have occasion to relish all the pleasurable memories of having been part of an enduring friendship akin to brotherhood. I pray, as well, that they will find their grief leading to contentment in knowing that they all were dearly loved.
Robert Knechtel
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