5 Tips For The “Sandwich Generation” in Managing Their Aging Parents
The numbers tell the story: By the year 2030, there will be over 72 million people over the age of 65 living in the United States. This group is being labeled the "Sandwich Generation" because they are sandwiched between their careers, caring for their kids as well as managing their aging parents.
Starting the process of trying to line up help for an elderly parent is overwhelming task so many people understandably put it off. All you have to do is go to an online directory or open up the phone book under the categories of Nursing Home facilities or Home Health Care. Where do you even begin?
The questions seem endless. What's the difference between "assisted living" and "skilled nursing care"? What does the term "non-medical" home care mean? What about "adult day care"? What are the criteria that have to be met to quality for a certain type of care? And how about costs? How do all these options compare cost-wise, which one is best for your parents' situation, and will insurance cover any of it?
It would take a book to cover all the different types of care and all the different questions faced by those caring for aging parents, but there is some general advice I can provide to help you through the process.
1. The first and most important piece of advice I can give is do not, I repeat, do not wait until a crisis occurs before researching your options! You cannot make an intelligent, informed decision if you try to start this process the day your dad is released from the hospital. I can tell you that agencies dread getting a phone call at 4pm by someone frantically looking for "round the clock care starting the next morning." Now there are two stressed people!
2. Get one notebook to keep all your notes in as you research. The basic categories of care are Skilled Nursing Facilities, Assisted Living Facilities, Adult Day Care centers, Skilled Home Health Care and Non-Medical Home Care. Take a deep breath and commit to learning about each one. You cannot start looking until you have a fundamental understanding of what each one is and does.
3. By all means, use the Internet to help you with your research - it can be a wonderful timesaver. However, online research does not replace visiting a senior care facility. In my experience, what's been particularly helpful is after the "official" guided tour, see if you can walk around for a little while and talk with those visiting their loved ones about the experience that they've had with the facility. Most will be more than willing to answer any questions you have. Doing this will be much more revealing than the formal tour. Plus, they probably did their research and visited other facilities so you can get some ideas of other options that may be available.
4. While you may not be ready to hire a caregiver for you mom yet, it's a good idea to have a senior home care agency come to the home and do an initial assessment. This service is usually offered at no cost to you. This will give you the opportunity to evaluate various agencies and form a relationship with one or two that you like and trust. By doing this you can call on someone that you know (and is familiar with your situation) to call in case an emergency arises.
5. Find out whether your parents have a Long Term Care insurance policy and what it covers. And if they have a policy, make sure you know where it is.
Theanna Zika founded St. Louis senior home care company, Heavenly Helpers, in 2004. She shares tips, strategies and advice about caring for seniors that she has learned over the years on the blog at her company's website. The site also features a helpful list of resources for St. Louis seniors and their families in the St. Louis Metro area.
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